Buffalaos

Our final stop in Laos was to be the former capital, Luang Prabang. Nestled between the Mekong and the Nam Khan rivers, the whole town is a UNESCO world heritage site and we can absolutely see why. We arrived in the early afternoon following a harrowing drive through the mountains. Our driver must have gone to the Peruvian driving school and only further served to prove our theory that countries that drive on the left are much more competent. Despite narrowly avoiding a head-on collision with a lorry and overtaking on blind corners, we arrived in one piece, though a little shaken, and keen to head to our hotel, the fabulous Villay Vanh Guesthouse. A short sweltering walk later and we were greeted warmly and with a cold glass of lemon juice before being shown to our room; a slightly pokey affair with dark wood panels, and a questionable choice of painting on the wall but nevertheless with air conditioning and a comfy bed so we were more than content, especially given we were paying around £11 a night for the privilege.

The following day we awoke to discover that the temperature for was forecast to be 41°, rather scuppering any plans to do anything remotely productive. We headed down to breakfast to decide what to do and were greeted by a young boy who we later found out was the nephew of the woman running the place. After discovering that I had no games on my phone (I know, I’m so boring) he quickly turned his attention to Dave and spent the next 30 minutes or so flitting between being told off by his Aunty for bothering us and playing games or watching shark videos on YouTube when she went out the back to fetch something. He soon revealed that his name was also David and we couldn’t quite work out if he thought we were taking the mick when Dave said that was his name too. Regardless, we had certainly made a firm friend and for the rest of our time in Luang Prabang we were greeted with a loud “HELLO!!!” every time he saw us as well as a “GOOD NIGHT!!! SEE YOU TOMORROW!!!” most evenings. Needless to say, we found it a little embarrassing that this 8-year-old boy spoke better English than we did Laotian but, in our defence, tonal languages are really hard, and we did learn “hello” and “thank you”.

By the time evening rolled around it was a little cooler and upon the recommendation of our host we decided to climb Phousi Hill in the centre of town, promising a cracking view and a lush sunset if we were lucky. While it was certainly no Machu Picchu mountain, even a slight incline in the heat results in ludicrous sweatiness and as we ascended the winding steps past Buddhist temples and dormitories for monks, we stopped under the pretence of taking photos but really it was to catch our breath and wipe the sweat from our brows. Arriving at the top, we were greeted by similarly minded people who had arrived before us and claimed the best seats, which was a good job really because they spent most of the time up there looking at their phones. Once the people who had climbed all that way to look at their phones moved, we were rewarded with a delightful view over the Mekong river and a slightly mediocre sunset. After a while, we were approached by a group of teenage girls who eagerly asked if they could practice English with us, which of course we were absolutely more than happy to do! They asked us where we came from and where we were going and all the sorts of questions you ask when you’re learning a language. It’s often difficult because when they ask you something like “what is your passion?” the textbook response would be “I like tennis” or “I like to read”, for example, but given our slightly frazzled post-hike state we at first took this as an invitation to a philosophical discussion. Given the puzzled looks on the young women’s faces that quickly followed, we realised our error and told them we liked F1 and animals. This seemed to suffice. List of questions exhausted and with rumbling tummies we bid farewell to our new pals and headed off to find dinner, before settling into the local Aussie bar to watch the qualifying. We got chatting to an older Aussie couple who were visiting South East Asia for just 10 days on their annual holiday and would shortly be heading back to their farm a few hours north of Brisbane. We chatted about F1 and made small talk and tried our best to enjoy an altogether predictable qualifying sessions before turning in for the night.

The following day we were up bright and early to avoid the worst of the heat and headed off to the Lao UXO centre. Like the COPE centre in Vientiane, the UXO centre works to remove remaining unexploded ordnance from Laos as well as educating tourists via their visitors centre. It was a lot smaller than the COPE centre but better put together, with stacks of bombs and shells and guns piled up in the corners of the room. They were all clearly labelled as deactivated, but it was still rather odd that you could just reach out and touch the items if you were so inclined. Next to the centre is a park and rather large statue of President Souphanouvong, leader of the Pathet Lao movement and the first president of communist-governed Laos. Given that the average male height in Laos is 5 ft 7, this statue may have been compensating for something. We headed back to the hotel to enjoy another action-packed afternoon of reading and sitting on the terrace watching the world go by. Luang Prabang really is a beautiful place, the streets are lined with old dark wood buildings with hints of French influence. They’ve managed to meld the old culture with modernity in a way that other places in this part of the world have failed to do and it would have been very easy to get stuck there, spending our days sitting by the river, eating delicious local food and drinking beers. But we had a few days left and there were still things to explore!

A trip to the local night market provided us with some wonderful handmade purses with delightful “Engrish” phrases on them such as “a sad rooster walks far-away” and “Dinosaur was gone”. We took advantage of their small size and portability and purchased some as souvenirs to bring home. If you’re lucky enough, you might just get one! The chap we bought them from was asking us how he could improve his English, it was hard to explain that the poor English is just what makes them so wonderful in the first place and actually if the language was better they would lose their charm, so we just said they were all fine , wished him well, and moved on. The markets here are really something else. Sure, you get the same mass-produced stuff across the countries but each one offers something a little bit different. We’ve joked a few times about ditching all of our clothes when we get back to Bangkok at the end of our trip and packing our bags full of all that great things we’ve found here. At least it’s a joke for the time being…

When we had climbed the hill a few days prior, we picked up a leaflet for a local storytelling theatre that looked interesting, so the following evening we headed up into the old quarter before arriving at what looked like an old wooden garage. Inside was a small black padded room with around 30 seats facing towards a small stage with two chairs. We sat and waited for the performance to start, not really sure what to expect, when a young man and an older chap came through the door; the older chap playing music on what we later discovered was called a khene (pronounced ke-en). The sound is unlike anything I’ve heard before and it really was fascinating that a series of wooden pipes can make such a haunting noise; it was a little like an organ mixed with pan pipes. We were then treated to around an hour of folk tales and stories from the younger of the two gentlemen, with the older man chiming in now and then with more music. He spoke excellent English and the time flew by. We discovered how two water serpents had carved out the rivers nestled either side of Luang Prabang, as well as how the khene was made to sound like a legendary bird, and that the hill we had climbed a few days before was actually the top of a mountain that the monkey king had brought to the queen, as well as many other completely true and accurate stories. Storytelling really is an art form and we could easily have sat and listened to the stories for hours (we might have needed slightly comfier chairs though).

With our time drawing to close and Vietnam looming, we decided to make the most of our final day and set off for an action-packed trip to Kuang Si waterfall, the Free The Bears sanctuary and the buffalo dairy farm. Heading off from our hotel, we were quickly approached by a Tuk Tuk driver and we hired his services for the day for 200,000 Kip (about £18). Into the back we climbed and off we bounced to Kuang Si waterfall. We’d read that the road up to the falls is full of potholes and badly maintained, so it was a pleasant surprise to find that they’d recently re-paved it. So recently in fact that we ran into a digger and lorry about 20 minutes from our destination and had to wait for it to move out of the way. This meant carefully navigating over the bits of broken rubble to avoid the oncoming vehicles and it was clear our driver had done this before as he made it about as comfortable as it could have been. Still, the incident reaffirmed our decision to take a Tuk Tuk rather than drive a motorbike up there ourselves – phew! The waterfalls are around 30km south of Luang Prabang and the site is also home to a sanctuary set up by the excellent Aussie charity “Free The Bears”. They rescue sun and moon bears from neighbouring China where they are poached for bile used in traditional medicine. They live their whole lives in tiny cages and it’s terribly sad. Given that animal welfare standards aren’t the highest in this part of the world, we were pleasantly surprised to find that the enclosures were roomy with lots of things to keep the bears entertained. Whilst obviously in an ideal world you’d want them to be out in the wild, it’s certainly a lot better than living in a tiny cage for 10 years, and the bears seemed happy enough. Sun and Moon bears are around the same size, if not smaller, than the Spectacled bears we’d seen in Peru, and just as cuddly looking. They were being fed when we arrived and it was fascinating (and a little terrifying) to watch the power in their claws and jaws, maybe the cuddling isn’t such a good idea after all.

We continued on up to the top of the waterfall and watched the water cascading down from around 60ft, into the clear blue limestone pools below. The water flows down into various different pools, some of which are sacred, and others are available to swim in. It wasn’t as hot as it had been the previous few days, but a dip was certainly welcomed. The fish were less aggressive than the ones at Erawan falls and aside from a few larger ones who got a bit too friendly, we enjoyed the cool clear water and the free fish spa. The water was also really quite cold which I imagine is delightful on some of the hotter days. We were a bit rubbish and it took us a bit of faffing before we both took the plunge. As is always the case, it was much nicer when you got in! We spent an hour or so enjoying the cool water surrounded by the lush jungle, before heading back down to meet our Tuk Tuk, going via the bear sanctuary to purchase a souvenir t-shirt and the smoothie shop get a drink.

Our next stop was the Laos Buffalo Dairy. Set up in 2014, the dairy is a social enterprise whereby they rent female buffalo from local farmers for their milk which they turn into some fantastic cheeses, yoghurt and ice cream. The farmers receive an income for the rental and often the female buffalos are returned pregnant as well as being vaccinated and having a full health check-up. We were shown around by a young volunteer from Istanbul and even got to have a go at milking (we were rubbish). They had pigs and rabbits and piglets and chickens and pigs and pigs and piglets and pigs. Needless to say, I had a great time and could have spent all day chilling with the oinkers, feeding them and petting them. Did I mention there were pigs? The centre also works to improve the gene pool for buffalos by cross breeding different varieties. We got to meet Ferdinand who was an absolute tank and also the father of one of the first crossbreed buffalo bred at the centre. The centre also provides employment opportunities for local women, which was great to see. After our fabulous tour, we sat down by the pond and enjoyed a cheese plate which included mozzarella, ricotta, feta and blue cheese all made on site. The blue cheese was one of the best we’d ever tasted, with hints of nuts and chocolate flavour – flipping delish! Hot, tired and full, we climbed into our Tuk Tuk for the final time and headed back to Luang Prabang.

Our flight to Hanoi was scheduled for 19:10 so we had most of the day to finish up the few things we’d missed, including the old palace. Now the national museum, it houses the old throne rooms as well as the King and Queen’s bedrooms. I’m not really sure calling it the national museum does it any favours as it’s largely a collection of old royal artefacts, without much of a narrative and at 30,000 kip each it’s quite a steep entrance fee. We did get to see bits of the moon though, which were a gift from the US to Laos, so that was pretty cool at least. There was also a small collection of old Ford and Citroen vehicles around the back of the museum, and a rather pretty temple. I’m not sure it was entirely worth the entrance cost, especially as you weren’t allowed to take pictures, but it certainly helped to kill time while we waited for our Tuk Tuk to the airport. 5pm quickly rolled around and we bid farewell to our excellent host (and the super cute doggo who I named Gavin) as we made our first steps towards Vietnam.

Hanoi here we come!