Making the most of it

Bangkok’s Thonburi station is certainly no Paddington, in fact it’s barely a Dorchester South. A sheltered platform runs around 50m alongside the tracks, with some benches dotted about the place which were definitely not made for our Western sized bottoms. There’s a yellow line and signs warning you not to go past it but the rather cavalier attitude to health and safety is both refreshing and unnerving. There seems to be an ongoing mentality across Thailand that if you’re stupid enough to do something that puts your life at risk, then you probably deserve to have something bad happen to you. The Darwin award would do exceptionally well here. In fact, the train before ours was situated on the next set of tracks over, with the only way to access it being to cross said yellow line and walking over the tracks themselves – brilliant. The trains themselves are wonderfully old fashioned, with the engine carriage being added separately just before departure. They’re a step up from steam trains, but if Poirot had suddenly sauntered across the platform, he certainly wouldn’t have been too out of place. Our destination on this wonderful anachronism was Kanchanaburi, a town around 90 miles West of Bangkok and home to THE Bridge over the river Kwai. We took our seats on two blue padded benches (again definitely not designed for Western bottoms, nor Western height) under the cooling breeze of several fans. There is only one class for the Kanchanaburi train and rather than air conditioning, it has huge open windows which can be pulled closed in the event of rain. Our train set off around 2pm and before we knew it we were rushing through luscious green fields, banana farms and small towns. At times it was rather reminiscent of home with the flat green landscapes in the rain, though the train ran on time and we both got a seat so perhaps upon further consideration it wasn’t like trains at home at all. Around 2 hours into our journey, the heavens opened and along with our fellow passengers, we hurried to close the windows. In our carriage were two other Western couples but the majority were Thai, wholly uninterested in the landscape and often bemused by two huge Westerners pointing out things that must be everyday features for them. I like trains. Arriving in a grey haze to Kanchanaburi around 5:30pm, we trudged through the drizzle to our new temporary home: The Nine Guesthouse, a medium sized hotel with various rooms surrounding a garden area in the centre, also home to a lovely white Cockatoo and several very skinny and very skittish cats. We were pleasantly surprised to find an enormous bed with a comfortable mattress, sufficient pillows AND a TV with Fox Sports, meaning we were all set to watch the Formula 1 over the course of the weekend, without having to attend one of the English/Aussie bars around town. Not that there isn’t a time and a place for getting rekt and watching TV surrounded by other Farangs, but we’re not here to eat a Sunday Roast or “get drunk for 10 Baht” (about 25p), as one bar proudly advertised; at least not yet anyway.

Our first stop the following morning was the Kanchanaburi Death Railway Museum and Research Centre to learn a bit more about the history of the place, and to set us up for a trip down to The Bridge a bit later on. The Museum, set over two floors, sits alongside the POW Cemetery and offers visitors a comprehensive, and sometimes rather harrowing, explanation of the Death Railway and the POWs held there during World War Two. Founded by an Aussie chap named Rod Beattie, who curated the majority of the museum’s pieces, exploring much of the abandoned railway himself as well as contacting the families of the POWs. It’s really incredible how much effort has been put into this place, with many original uniforms and medals on display, as well as various items recovered from the POW camps themselves. The majority of the POWs who died during the construction of the Death Railway were British, and throughout the museum people have placed poppies and crosses, commemorating the sacrifice of family members. It’s incredibly moving. As we reached the end of the exhibits, the heavens opened once more and so we sat on the second floor and enjoyed our complementary cup of tea and let everything sink in.

Soon after the rain stopped, we stepped back out into the heat. We both commented on how awful it must have been to have been forced to do heavy labour in this weather. We can barely walk down the street without breaking into a sweat. Having seen on the map that it was about 3k to The Bridge, we decided to make use of the hotel’s offering of free bikes and cycle instead of walk. We soon discovered why the bikes were free however, as mine had a decidedly flat tyre and neither of them had any gears, making what was supposed to be a breezy trundle down to The Bridge, a rather more arduous affair – nevermind. We arrived to a throng of tourists taking pictures and a small amount of street vendors and market stalls, set up to cater for the aforementioned tourists. Often when you read the reviews of historically significant places, people seem to be outraged at the fact that the locals are attempting to capitalise on the presence of large numbers of tourists, and perhaps unsurprisingly, these also tend to be the types of people that complain when there isn’t a coffee shop at The Killing Fields – you can’t please everyone I suppose. So off we went, to cross The Bridge over The River Kwai. Interestingly enough, it’s not actually the River Kwai, its proper name is the Khwae Yai but in true Western fashion, we’ve managed to bastardise the pronunciation. Maybe if we said it louder and slower… As you set out further onto the bridge, the tourists thin out and we were joined by a lovely dog, who happily trotted alongside us for a while. Reaching the other end of the bridge, the train tracks descend into thick jungle and there is a sign informing you that the bridge is the River Kwai bridge – thanks sign! There is also now a bar where the old POW camp used to be, down by the river. We were trying to decide whether it was offensive or incredibly fitting that you can sit and have a beer where so many young men lost their lives. We decided in the end that it was probably a suitable tribute as we could imagine nothing better on a hot sweaty day than a nice cold beer, especially as so many Aussies were there as well. All in all they’ve done a good job of making the place as accessible to tourists as possible, without selling out the soul and significance of The Bridge and Kanchanaburi as a town. The bridge itself is the original, apart from a small middle section which was replaced after it was bombed during the war, you can even see some of the original bomb damage on the concrete pillars. As we headed back towards town, there was a small amount of commotion behind us. We turned to see a train heading over the bridge – eek! Luckily along the bridge are small metal outcrops, designed precisely for this purpose, and once we realised we weren’t about to be flattened, it was really quite exciting to see a train going over THE Bridge over the River Kwai. Trains are one of those things which, alongside dinosaurs, are cool all the time, forever, no matter how old you are or where you are in the world.

Upon returning to the hotel, we decided that the following day we needed to do something a bit lighter and decided upon a visit to Erawan National Park, about 65km up the road from Kanchanburi. As well as the opportunity to spot some more wildlife, Erawan park is home to 7 tiers of waterfalls, offering visitors a chance to swim in its crystal-clear waters, and also enjoy a free foot nibbling from the resident fish. Rather than restrict ourselves to the sweltering confines of public transport, there is of course only one way to see Thailand as it is meant to be seen, and that is of course, by scooter. Our hotel offered 24h rental for 200 Baht (£5) so it was a no brainer really, especially as entry into the park for both of us was going to cost 600 Baht (£15). So the following morning we got up bright and early, and headed off for Erawan National Park, eager to beat the crowds. Whilst I can certainly see the appeal of mopeds/scooters/motorbikes/whatever you want to call them, I wasn’t quite prepared for the fact that after around 15km, you start to get an enormously numb bottom. It’s difficult to shift your weight without upsetting the balance of the bike so you are forced to sit quite still, leading to a somewhat unpleasant journey for both myself and Dave. We stopped about halfway for a brief respite but quickly got underway again when we realised how hot it was once you haven’t got a lovely cool breeze washing over you. Arriving at the park at around 10:30, we decided to stop for a bite to eat before tackling the climb up to the falls. I pause here to mention that Dave has, rather usefully, been teaching himself a bit of Thai in an effort to gain favour from the locals. As I spoke more Spanish when we were in South America, he has taken it upon himself to be our voice for Asia, which is absolutely fine by me. Thai is a tonal language, meaning that you can say exactly the same words but with two different tones and they can mean entirely different things. Having said that, the only thing Dave has managed to do so far is make middle aged Thai women completely besotted with him, once they discover that he can speak more than the rudimentary “please”, “thank you” and “hello”. As we stopped for lunch just outside the park, he once again proceeded to chat up the woman serving us lunch and all was going very well until he produced a 1000 Baht note to pay for our ~150 Baht lunch. It wasn’t our fault, the machines rarely give out anything below 1000 when you’re taking out large quantities, but her face was a picture when he produced it. After a bit of to-ing and fro-ing and Dave’s innate charm (*eye roll*), she eventually decided it was ok and ran off to find change from somewhere.

Climbing to the 7^th tier of the waterfalls takes around an hour, but it’s all uphill, through the jungle, in the heat, so we decided upon reaching the 5^th tier that that was good enough for us. The waterfalls are truly impressive and though we’d seen pictures, the clear blue waters were even more inviting as we reached them sweaty and tired from the climb. As soon as we entered the water, swarms of fish nibbled at our toes and legs. It’s a really bizarre sensation as some of them are quite big and they will not get the hint when you try and brush them off. They seem to enjoy toes the most which, if you are ticklish like I am, is intolerable after more than a few seconds. Still though, we sat and enjoyed the serene surroundings and the cool clear water for a good few hours. A well-deserved break from the heat and the chaos of Bangkok. Originally our plan was then to head to Hellfire Pass but funnily enough, the beautiful cool jungle paradise won over the 1.5 hour numb bum drive further up the road. As the pools became busier and the afternoon ticked by, we decided it was about time to head back to the hotel and were slightly perplexed by the “please don’t feed the monkeys” signs dotted about the place. We hadn’t seen any monkeys so either it’s all a bit of a joke, or the signs have done their job and the monkeys don’t bother coming anymore because no one feeds them. As much as it would have been great to see them in the wild, hopefully they no longer rely on humans for food and are off doing monkey things somewhere else. Following a necessary ice cream stop, we begrudgingly climbed back onto the scooter and numb-bumingly headed back to Kanchanaburi, rather sad to be leaving the cool waters and beautiful surroundings behind.

Suitably relaxed and refreshed by our trip to the Nature Park, we decided that the following day we’d head off back out on the scooter to Wat Ban Tham, a local temple atop a hill that involves climbing through a large dragon. This was only 12km away so not quite enough time for the scooter’s lack of comfort to set in. We arrived around 10am and set about climbing the 701 steps to the top. Once the initial entertainment of climbing up through a dragon’s mouth, followed by a short spiral staircase up through a cave structure, passed, it became hotter and harder to proceed. We had climbed Machu Picchu mountain some 3 months prior so were quite surprised at how difficult the steps proved to be. It just goes to show how much more difficult it is to do anything in this heat and we quickly depleted the 2 litres of water we had brought with us. Luckily about 2/3 of the way up there’s a lovely open-air temple where you can sit and cool down, enjoying the cool breeze as well as the endless view over the lush green fields. The river widens and winds its way into the distance, punctuated sporadically with hills that burst out of the ground like huge anthills, such is their juxtaposition with the paper flat landscape. We reached the top shortly after but as there was no shelter, we quickly descended again, welcoming the ease at which we descended, counting the steps as we went and offering encouragement to those on the ascent. Reaching the bottom, we couldn’t help feeling a sense of accomplishment at having not only climbed one of Thailand’s hills, but having done so dripping with sweat and almost giving up more than once. We stopped briefly at the POW cemetery on our way back and were once again moved by the sacrifice of these poor lads, the vast majority of whom were younger than both Dave and me. Arriving back at the hotel, we found ourselves to be absolutely exhausted and after a brief foray out for lunch, both collapsed onto the bed and did not much of anything for the rest of the afternoon before enjoying a junk food dinner and a beer with the Monaco GP.

Our time in Kanchanaburi had been a real mixed bag, with harrowing WW2 history, beautiful waterfalls and a big dragon temple on a hill, all of which has been thoroughly enjoyable. As I sit and write this on the terrace of our hotel room, a thunderstorm has rolled in and flashes of lightning flicker across the cloudy grey sky every few minutes, oddly enough, all without any rain. The next stop on our trip is Ayutthaya, the old capital of Siam, but I’ll leave Dave to tell you all about that.

Chairman Cat

Day 4 dawned with Katy and I both finally starting to get over the worst effects of the jet lag and beginning to function on a daily rhythm somewhat in sync with the local time zone. For the past couple of days Katy has been waking up around 11-12 am -understandable given the 6-hour time shift from the UK- whilst I have been my usual self and made a point of being different, waking instead at any time between 3 and 5am. Whilst this has had the positive side effect of giving me an opportunity to do more planning for the day ahead or for further in to our trip, or merely to try and improve my terrible grasp of Thai, it has ultimately meant me sitting around in the hotel room for 6 hours getting hungrier and hungrier until Katy wakes up. And no, swapping a sleeping happy Katy for a half-asleep grumpy Katy is not a good trade.

Anyway, today I woke up at about 6:45 and Katy about 9:15, so at least we’re both steadily converging on a reasonable time to awaken. As today was set to be another scorcher (Joy confirmed that it’s hot even by Thai standards at the moment) we decided it would be a good idea to get out a little earlier ahead of the worst of the heat, especially as our firs stop involved a climb to Phu Khao Thong, the Temple on the Golden Mount. We had intended to walk down the road and get a bus, but Joy, eager to help as ever, suggested we’d be better off with a taxi and so commandeered my phone to order one through Grab (the local equivalent of Uber) and take the opportunity provided by the waiting time for the Taxi to make more jokes at my expense. Much to Katy’s amusement.

At 40 Thai Baht to the pound, the currency value is not quite far enough away from Sterling that you stop intuitively thinking of Baht’s on the same kind of scale (unlike, for example, Lao Kip, where £1 will buy you almost K11,000), so instinctively, paying 110 Baht for a 20-minute Taxi ride feels like a lot, until you work it out and realise it’s £2.75. Thailand is called ‘the land of smiles’, ostensibly because the people here are always smiling (and this is true, they are, except for the ones who work on the water taxis), but it is also because every time you buy something and work out what it is in pounds you can’t help but get a cheese-eating grin on your face.

With our budget only slightly dented then, we jumped out of the Taxi and set off in search of some breakfast. Thai cuisine doesn’t really have separate breakfast foods like we do in the west; they’ll happily eat noodles, rice, soup and the grilled and marinated carcases of whatever animal takes their fancy at any time of day. Whilst we have thoroughly enjoyed indulging in the local cuisine, we haven’t yet weaned ourselves off of the western need for good-ol’ hearty bread, egg and/or cereal based breakfasts. To that end, we settled upon a small, French style café in the lobby of a hostel near the temple for some scrambled eggs on toast and a tuna melt.

Stomachs appeased we set off back to Phu Khao Thong through a district of Bangkok specialising in the production of ornate wooden doors, picture frames and clumps of mushrooms. The Temple on the Golden Mount is a large, wide structure built in to 4 distinct tiers; the mount, the base, the temple and the stupa. As you enter the gates, the temple immediately before you is a striking sight; simultaneously inviting and imposing. Amongst the other more conventional wats and temples in central Bangkok, Phu Khao Thong is rather unique appearance-wise and has an almost Arabic look to it.

Built upon what appears at first to be the strange sight of a natural hill in the centre of the otherwise flat Bangkok, the mount upon which the temple sits is in fact the crumbled remains of an earlier attempt to build a huge stupa on the site. Owing to Bangkok’s soft clay soil, this original Stupa collapsed in on itself near to completion and wound up being left derelict for several decades. Today, the mishmash of mudbrick, earth and stone which forms the bottom half of the temple mount is overgrown with trees and vines and decorated liberally with statutes, waterfalls, golden buddhas and small shrines.

This section of the temple mount is perhaps the most enjoyable to climb. When you first set off, a small sign cautions you that there are over 300 steps to the top (Pah! Not exactly Salkantay is it!) and you quickly find yourself surrounded by the canopy of the trees overgrowing the mount from which hangs myriad thin, spindly vines. Along the route the path follows are numerous mist jets to assist with keeping the tourists and monks cool on their climb. Combined with the tranquillity of the waterfalls, statues and shrines, the luscious vegetation and the ringing sound of the bells and gongs which line the path and are merrily rung by each passing tourist, the ascent is an almost heavenly experience. No doubt this is the intended effect, but as a died-in-the-wool atheist, rarely at a religious monument have I found the intended effect to be so all-encompassing and potent.

The second tier of the temple is the base; a wide, conical shaped retaining wall which occupies the central quarter of the structure. The wall is painted a brilliant white, save for a small amount of red detailing which follows the stairways that spiral steadily up the perimeter. The base is elegant in its simplicity and nicely juxtaposes both the chaotic beauty of the mount below and the opulence of the temple above.

Atop the base sits the Temples 3^rd tier, a relatively simple square building with intricate gold trim and an awning which overhangs a broad, sheltered walkway around the heart of the temple and from which hundreds of small bells and wind chimes are hung. In the heart of the temple, connected by 4 small passageways, is a small and, by local standards, very modest statue of the Buddha around which incense is burned and monks offer their prayers.

The final tier is the roof, a smaller walkway around a large stupa with a thin, domed base and a tall spire protruding from its centre. The stupa alone accounts for perhaps a quarter of the total height of the temple and is painted solid gold and indented with multiple layers of geometric shapes. It’s a genuinely impressive feature of Buddhist architecture and design that they can make such liberal use of gold yet never make it look gawdy or tasteless. I can think of at least 1 world leader who should take note. The walkway around the stupa, some 150ft high, also offers fantastic views of the city. The Vista of Bangkok from this temple is a microcosm of Asia at the start of the twenty first century, a chaotic and vibrant fusion of old and new, innovation and tradition, wealth and poverty. The foreground is dominated by corrugated roofs, low-slung concrete dwellings and the leisurely chaos of busy market streets peppered with the brilliant golds, greens and reds of temple roofs jutting out from every other block. In the distance the skyline is dominated by huge steel and glass skyscrapers; the visual manifestation of the huge wealth flowing into this developing economy and to which a new building seems to be being added every time you blink; such is the pace of growth in this part of the world.

Stunning though it was, the view from the top could not win out against the strength of the sun, and we soon had to retreat to lower levels for shade and some water in an attempt to cool down (as if such a thing were possible). One we had sufficiently rested we proceeded (slowly) across town to have a late lunch and let the worst of the middays sun pass, stopping en-route in Saranrom park near the royal palace for some much-needed shade. As we finished lunch the clouds started to thicken bringing in a precious few degrees of coolness to the air. Rejuvenated we set off across the river to Wat Arun, the Temple of Dawn, which is named for the way it catches the dawn light on its ceramic surface (suffice to say, we never got up early enough to see this).

The temple is a series of five stupas laid out like the 5-side of a dice and dominated by its central stupa which stands a good 150ft tall. Each of the stupas is decorated with millions of hand-crafted ceramic tiles of various colours, chiefly dominated by green, blue and white. The tiles are laid out to form intricate geometric patterns as well as flowers and animals and several statues of elephants and buddhas crown the steep upper slopes. The temple site is fairly small though and by the time we arrived it was swarming with tourists (yes, I know) and so we decided to make our way back to avoid the steadily darkening crowds. There was, of course, time to stop off and say hello to some cats that had made the temple their home though.

As an aside, in Thai, the word for cat is ‘Maow’ like the noise they make. This leads one to suspect that maybe sheep are called ‘Bah’ and dogs are called ‘Woof’ but sadly that is not the case. It does however mean that the name for the brutal Chinese mass-murderer in Thai was ‘Chairman Cat’, so that’s fun.

And that more or less finished off our activities of note in Bangkok. With the exception of getting absolutely hammered on the Khao San Road, the only major tourist attraction in which we had not indulged was visiting the Royal Palace. The Palace, however, has a very strict dress code which calls for long sleeves and trousers. Given the weather we thought it better to save a visit until our return trip in November, when the temperature may even be as cool as the high 20’s! We opted instead for a day relaxing in a riverside bar enjoying a beer (just one) and then spending the rest of the day on the roof of our hostel with our kindles.

For our last day in Bangkok we intended, on Joys advice, to head up to the outskirts of the Royal Palace in the evening where apparently a light display in celebration of the recent coronation of the new king was taking place, but a fierce storm soon put pay to that plan and we again wound up on the roof of the hostel reading and enjoying a beer (just one) before retreating from the torrential downpour and lightning that rolled in in the late afternoon.

After dinner we took stock of our time here in Bangkok. It’s safe to say that the city has left a far more positive impact on us than Lima did; Bangkok is an accessible, inviting, vibrant and joyously chaotic place. The food is amazing, the sites spectacular, the people are as warm as the climate and the city has, despite its status as he worlds most visited city, not sold out its character to the tourist trade. You really feel like a guest here, rather than a walking ATM fit for a swindle. That said, it is still a capital city, and like all capital cities it has a character and dynamic distinct from the rest of the country, so it’s with great excitement that we look forward to exploring more of Thailand, starting with the small town of Kanchanaburi, roughly 80 miles west of Bangkok and home to the Bridge over the River Kwai.

Here we go again…

So then! Here we are in Bangkok, our home for a week or so. The antipode of Bangkok is about 350 miles off the coast of Lima so we’ve almost literally come to the other side of the world from where we were last time. Leaving sunny England behind, we were feeling a lot more relaxed than we were the last time we waved bye to Mum at the airport. I don’t know whether it was the fact that Dave has been to Asia before or that we’ve been travelling for a while now, or perhaps it was those lovely tablets I got from Superdrug, but there’s definitely been a lot more of a chilled out vibe heading into these next six months, as well as a lot more room in our backpacks.

Fully anticipating to be knocked sideways by the heat, it was a pleasant surprise when we stepped off the plane to find that it wasn’t THAT bad; comparable to when we first arrived in Lima. We shuffled down to the taxi rank, took our number and showed the nice taxi man where we wanted to go, having been given the advice from some friends we met travelling to have the address in the local script as well as Latin characters, which proved to be the right thing to do. Despite this we didn’t quite manage to get right to our hostel (U-baan Hostel run by the delightful Joy) but got close enough that the final 50m or so walk wasn’t too much of an issue, even in the 33° heat. We were greeted by Joy and quickly shown to our room on the 4^th floor (EUGH); a basic double room but comfortable and with that all-important air-conditioning. By this point we’d been travelling for over 24 hours and with Etihad’s in-flight meals not being nearly as good as United’s, we hopped along the road to a restaurant recommended by Joy as being easy and quick, exactly what we needed. Our first meals in Thailand were fried fish with various vegetables/salad and was probably one of the best things I have ever eaten. Off to a good start. Accompanied by two very cold beers, we were two very jolly, but very tired, westerners. Stopping at the local Tesco Lotus on our way back to the hostel for some much needed giant bottles of water, we quickly fell asleep on our unexpectedly hard bed. Upon closer inspection, the mattress seemed to be made of very hard foam with the sort of material that PE mats at school were made of, around it; not ideal, but it would do for the next 7 nights.

There are 7/11s everywhere in Bangkok, they seem to be the life blood of the city, providing not only lovely lovely AC but also wi-fi if you have the right sim card. Public wi-fi isn’t so much of a thing here as it is in other places but I’m sure we’ll manage. Our first day I awoke around 9am to find that Dave had been up for hours (thanks jetlag!) and had already planned our first day – woohoo! Having learned from previous trips that trying to do too much in one day is a recipe for grumpiness, our first task was to obtain breakfast, then head up to the Museum of Siam, grab a late lunch and then head back to the hostel via the water bus and the Metro. We’ve heard that as long as you eat right and walk a lot you should lose weight in South East Asia so that’s part of the plan, as well as avoiding too many banana pancakes and coconut ice cream. Naturally this meant we had milkshakes, waffles and honey toast for breakfast – exceptionally not healthy but really really yummy. To be fair as well, we were planning to walk 40 minutes in the midday heat for some unknown reason afterwards so we’d surely burn it off. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll know that Thailand is hot, really hot. It’s not until you get here however that you realise why when you tell your Hostel host that you’re planning to walk half way across the city, she looks at you like you’ve just told her you eat only nutmeg and live in a shoe. Put another way, I can see why there are no walking tours here. As any *ahem* larger person will tell you, sweat is a common occurrence when faced with heat of any kind and normally you just learn to accept it, but flipping heck, I think even a skeleton would sweat here.

We arrived at the Museum of Siam to find our good friend air-con in full force and took a minute to bask in its glory (All hail the AC). Established in 2007 in the old Ministry of Commerce building, the purpose of the Museum is to explore Thailand’s national identity and what it means to be Thai. According to their website, their philosophy is play + learn = plearn – no really – so apart from exploring what “Thainess” is, it also appears that they have invented a new word. Armed with our audio guide which promised to “tickle our curiosity gland” we were led through various rooms and presented with different facets and salient debates regarding Thailand’s identity. Credit where credit is due, the museum was highly interactive and it’s interesting to see how much of Thailand’s culture is a real mishmash of different parts of the world. It also explains why they are completely unfazed by foreigners, as people from all around the globe have been coming to Thailand for centuries. As well as their devotion to the Royal Family and the prevalence of Buddhism, it’s a real melting pot of cultures and influences, which makes it a really interesting place. We also discovered that they take their calendar from the year of the Buddha which, in hindsight, we should have anticipated, but as it was we stumbled in blindly with our Occidental mindset, standing puzzled as the date was listed as 2562, a minor 543 years ahead of the Gregorian calendar. We spent a good few hours attempting to decode “Thai-ness” but there’s something about 36° heat that doesn’t lend itself particularly well to in-depth analysis of cultural identity, even with a large fan and a cold drink to hand. Did I mention it’s really hot here? Anyway, to lunch!

We stopped at a small place called Manee near the river and had some more delicious Thai food (Shrimp Pad Thai & Stir Fried Vegetables), costing us less than £5 for two huge portions and two cold glasses of coke, before deciding to head back to our hostel for a good cold shower and then going out to dinner. By heck were we going to walk back, so we decided to take the river bus and then the metro – simples! Except we were on the wrong side of the river for the bus and there were no signs explaining this, just a rather long queue and lots of signs explaining it was 4 baht (10p) to get a boat to the other side. This brings me to a tactic which I feel is going to be employed a lot over the next 6 months, namely standing around looking confused until a matriarch comes and tells you what to do – wonderful. As it transpired, we would need to get the boat to the other side of the river in order to catch the boat to where we needed to go, but of course there was nothing explaining that! Nevermind, we saw some kittens while we were queuing so that made everything better. It turned out to be quite a laugh in the end actually. There’s something about speeding up the river on a boat that feels particularly exciting and it’s a much cooler (temperature) method of transport than sitting on a bus in Bangkok’s notorious traffic jams for 3 times as long. It’s also incredibly cheap, costing us just £1 for both of us to journey half-way across the city. The Metro proved to be surprisingly simple, the staff are happy to help and understand our terrible pronunciation, so we arrived back at the hostel feeling pretty pleased with ourselves! It is noticeably cooler from around 4pm, when a haze descends over the city, shielding it from the hot sun, so moving around later in the day is much easier. Showered and suitably refreshed, we headed out for dinner at a place called Jack Diamond’s for, you guessed it, more delicious Thai food. We forgot to order rice as we had assumed it came with it, but you know what assume makes! So, we won’t be making that mistake again.

Our second full day in Bangkok and our plan was to go and visit some of the temples around the city, going via a bar or two for a drink and to cool down along the way. May 18^th this year is Buddha Day for many South-East Asian countries and Thailand is no exception. This day celebrates the significant dates in the Buddha’s life – his birth, his enlightenment and his death. Buddhists will go to the temples to pray and make offerings but most importantly of all, alcohol is prohibited from being sold or purchased. So instead of an ice-cold beer, we sat in a ramshackle wooden hut at the end of a pier and had two soft drinks instead. We also couldn’t help but notice that several of the locals at this bar were drinking beer, but maybe they knew something we didn’t, or had suitably bribed the waiting staff. We shall never know. Feeling refreshed, we headed off to cross the river in search of lunch and Wat Pho, a temple complex whose main feature is a huge reclining golden Buddha. Standing at 15m high and 46m long, the statue is intended to represent the Buddha’s entry into Nirvana, at the end of all reincarnations and is one of the largest Buddha statues in Thailand. We particularly enjoyed dropping coins into the 108 jars lined up along the left side of the hall which are intended to bring good luck and future happiness. Why would anyone be a Christian with a religion like this!? It being Vesak (Buddha day), many of the temples open much later into the evening and it was our intention to pop along to the Golden Mount Temple to watch the sunset. As evening approached however, it became more and more clear that as we were very hot and our feet were very hurty, walking a further 30 minutes definitely wasn’t going to happen, especially as we couldn’t even have a beer at the end of the day. We were also faced with another problem in that because our hostel is in a residential neighbourhood, many of the local restaurants had closed early so that the owners could go and pray, meaning we were left with no other option than to visit a burger place called “Sorry, I’m Hungry”. A phrase which often finds itself passing from my lips, but not one I’d have personally chosen as the name of a burger restaurant.

Now starting to get the hang of this whole ‘existing in the ridiculous heat’ thing, we decided that our 3^rd day would largely consist of hanging around in a lovely park doing nothing much other than reading and taking pictures of the various wildlife. Our host Joy directed us towards the number 72 bus and off we went. I want to pause here for a second to talk about Joy. Joy is 38 but looks about 15 and runs the Ubaan hostel where we are currently staying. She has a delightfully dry sense of humour but this is often juxtaposed with a somewhat outdated twist. For example she maintains that the mantra “happy wife, happy life” is one to be adhered to at all times, and seems to particularly enjoy poking fun at both our laziness, our eagerness to walk places, the fact that Dave and I are quite big, and has a general, albeit self-confessed, distrust of English people. She’s certainly an interesting character. Exceptionally helpful and keen to offer suggestions for transport and restaurants but definitely an acquired taste, especially as we tend to be the sort of travellers who like to go off and do our own thing and make our own mistakes. Anyway, we arrived at the park to find a resident population of Water Monitor Lizards, ranging from around 1-4ft in length. Coming from a country where the most exciting thing you might see in a park is teenagers drinking cider or perhaps a seagull stealing someone’s food, this was particular enjoyable. We were also rather envious of them swimming about in the lovely cool water of the park, but as a breeze picked up into the afternoon, it became quite pleasant, both of us sitting there reading and enjoying some down time. Stopping off at a local shopping mall (AC – woohoo!) for a bite to eat, we headed back to the hostel and began to plan where we were going to go next, after all, we only had 3 days left in Bangkok…